My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
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i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
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I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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