are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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