Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
