Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize