What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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