I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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