Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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