Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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