He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
My bed smells like the plague
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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