Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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