My hand turned me down
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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