I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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