Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
