come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
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We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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