JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
handjob tips. give me some.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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