Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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