worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Boobs speak an international language.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
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