So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
