he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
