he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
She needs sedatives and a leash
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
