I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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