suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
