Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
