would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Its about making memories worth repressing
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
