I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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