Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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