I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
