turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
