You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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