I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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