I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
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I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
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She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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