Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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