He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize