There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
