he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Sext me about skeletons
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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