i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
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