It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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