Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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