it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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