Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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