that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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