So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
