So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
