You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
