I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
