He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
