no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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