So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
