You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
