His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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