how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
