bring money and cleavage
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
