Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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