How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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