Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
