im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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