I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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