For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
