So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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