Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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