Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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