YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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