Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
