so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
