lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
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We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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