I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
